I’m back from Denver! It was fun while it lasted, but I am ecstatic to be back home in the OC. No matter where I go in the world and how long I’m away from home, it always feels good to come back. And that’s not just because most of my friends are here…there’s just a special vibe about Orange County–this welcoming, beckoning, SAFE, underground funk, playful, friendly, experimentally-artsy vibe.
John Wayne, palm trees, and the American Flag welcome you back home to the OC!
I actually came back sooner than expected, but the timing was right because a few days before my plane was scheduled to take off, I literally went through very odd situations of harassment, one on top of the other, from different people at different times, and it was so bizarre that I remember just being frustrated and thinking, “Really?? Is this really happening right now? And I have no witnesses with me!” I took it as a sign that it was right for me to come back home, because I cannot recall ever feeling that uncomfortable from Orange County guys…and I definitely have moments where I dress way more revealing (as in, tight outfits or midriff showing) in my hometown and yet I still don’t feel like I’m being stalked like prey by hungry, desperate zombies who smell my XX chromosomes and don’t even try to initiate any decent conversation and instead just go…ATTACK!
ZOMBIES! All joking aside, this is kind of what 1 of the days felt like in Downtown…different guys dressed similar to this following me around in different groups of 5-6 during DIFFERENT instances throughout the day, sexualizing me and making comments. I handled the day, but now that it’s over with, I can share that deep inside, I felt alarmed and uncomfortable…and upset that this was how I was ending a perfectly great trip! Nonetheless, I couldn’t wait to come back to OC where people DON’T do this. Image from gajitz.com
I’ll spare all of the details because only a couple of friends really know ALL of what happened, but the point is that even though you should be careful everywhere and that there are people with good and bad intentions everywhere, I’ve never felt threatened walking around the busy or industrially-developed parts (“urban”…I know, a bit ironic) of Orange County or even walking home to my place or a friend’s at 3AM…because, well, it’s Orange County. We’re known for being one of the safest places to live in America. Now, this doesn’t mean to go ahead and just be negligent, but I know that I’m not the only one who feels a sense of security living in the OC compared to living in other places, like when I lived & worked in LA and even in Denver, where I encountered mostly friendly residents.
Rancho Santa Margarita, consistently one of the safest cities to live in America. Image from the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, egov.ocgov.com
From a woman’s perspective, men will be men, but I was talking with my sister and telling her what happened on my trip and I was like, “Yeah, I don’t know what it is, but it must be in tune with the seasons or something because guys in the OC do their own thing & come across as a lot more ‘chill’ and relaxed and not as desperate…and it’s pretty consistent, like the weather…and then maybe the guys who live where there are actual, obvious seasons are in tune with the animals and it’s like, they’ve come out of hibernation from Winter and now it’s Spring and mating season and it doesn’t matter if you are wearing an unflattering outfit like a sweatshirt, capris, and ankle socks (like I was in one example), they still know that you are inherently a woman and are like, OMG! It’s mating season! Must get to mating ASAP!”
Of course, I was joking, but it kind of makes sense when you think about it. Maybe our guys in the OC are just more used to seeing women dressed in everything year-round and the vibe of being relaxed and enjoying life and not rushing it by transgresses to their mentality of mating, also. I mean, no doubt guys care about getting a girl, but the guys in OC are a lot more DGAF (“Don’t Give A Eff”) about it than OMG URGENT POUNCE NOW, and that is definitely something I can appreciate from my fellow OC men.
With events like this that go on all the time, our OC men are too occupied to hang out on the streets and make women feel uncomfortable. Why would they spend energy doing that when they’re used to seeing women in bikinis? Image from Anaheim Convention Center’s blog, blog.anaheimoc.org
Feeling safe as a woman in Orange County is clearly something of immense value in why it always feels so good to come back home after all of my travels from different cities and countries.
Orange County is unique, and by no means should we take the “chill” vibe for granted and just assume that we are always safe, but I can definitely understand why my parents decided to move here of all places to start a family and build a life together…because it’s definitely a special thing to be able to feel like you have a ridiculous variety of activities at your fingertips and yet also know that it’s one of the safest places you could be.
24 years after moving here and going from a girl to a teenager to an independent young woman living in Orange County, I’ve finally had to accept that I no longer look like a little girl, and so men being rude and sexualizing you could really happen anywhere (and even if you are a successful, independent woman, men objectifying you in that way can still be one of the most uncomfortable situations, and we are afraid to talk about it for fear of being judged as weak or craving attention), but there is no place I feel more safe and comfortable being an independent woman than right here in Orange County.
RSM Outdoor Amphitheater surrounding the RSM Lake. Yay! Being away for a bit helps me to appreciate all of the different & safe places in OC to relax at. Image from waymarking.com
Now I’m not saying all guys here are Saints, but drawing from my personal experiences, it’s just definitely more fun and a lot safer to be a female in Orange County than in other places. Sometimes it takes a recent shake-up to clearly see how good we have it here.
Needless to say, I was very happy to return home, and it definitely makes me appreciate all of my guy friends in Orange County in a different light, too…because I can’t think of a single one here who would put a female stranger in an objectified, uncomfortable situation.
THANK GOD I LIVE IN ORANGE COUNTY. That is actually what I was thinking when I was waiting for my flight back to John Wayne Airport.
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